The Belief Playoffs

We pass by each other on the street, in the store, in the club, and in the hallway.  We brush shoulders, exchange smiles, a nod, a word or two, but what do we know?  The quest for human interaction leads us through life like a carrot.  We seek intimacy, acceptance, and the sweetness of a safe embrace.  We seek spouses who’ll know us better than anyone, friends who won’t walk away, and circles of community who know “just enough” to let us in, but what do they know of us?

Before we can share our inner secrets we must know what they are.  Before we can speak them we must put them into words.  Searching for words to identify and know our beliefs, we peer into the darkened corners of our minds.  We think in circles, scared of and avoiding our own beliefs because we simply don’t know them.  Treating them like strangers we work with, we pass them in the hallways of our mind; giving them a nod and a smile, but do we really know our own beliefs - these things that run our days? 

Let me ask you a simple question.  What do you believe in?  Is that a hard answer to find and give?  Do you know?  In the busy-ness of this age we run through, around and past our moments, and often end up at the end of some road wondering how we got there, wondering who we are, and wondering who really knows us.  Or, more likely, we don’t want to wonder about these things, and even hope it doesn't happen again… but for those who are fortunate... it will.

Those who dare to look within end up better off.  Why?  Because knowing our inner self enables us to engage and exchange with others.  True connection between people requires honesty – a nakedness of the soul – so the connection can be real.  Otherwise it is… something else, but definitely not a true connection. 

To those who are afraid to look within; to truly know one’s self: please be comforted and encouraged by this – it is just you and what you will find is already there.  Looking doesn’t change those things.  It only allows you the freedom of choosing.  Also, I have never known anyone who looked and regretted it. 

So, what happens when we look?  How does it work? 

At first it is like exploring a lived-in house – your house.  As you enter and start searching you will see many ideas, memories, and patterns that have become a large part of your life.  The distant and detailed stuff is tucked away in the corners, closets, and attics; stacked boxes of stuff you held onto for some reason.  It’s all good and worth holding onto… because you already decided to hold onto it.  This isn’t about second guessing, doubting, or invalidating your past.  It is simply a “look around” to get your bearings.

Within this house of yours are many chairs.  The chairs are your beliefs.  When you sit in one you can’t be sitting in another.  Let me explain.  

In any given moment you'll choose what you believe about it - about the circumstances, opportunities, threats, and possible ways to get something you want out of it.  In the next moment you may choose differently, but in this moment you can only choose one belief.  Why?  Because beliefs are rooted in and give us our perspective, and we can only have one perspective at a time.  Please don’t misunderstand.  You have many beliefs… everyone does.  But, in each moment of decision you will be governed by a final winner – you will have chosen a belief to guide you through that decision – and therefore - whatever belief you choose... matters. 

Our carnal beliefs are very immediate, petulant, and persistent – like young children looking for things to go their way.  Our spiritual beliefs are quieter, much more patient, wiser, and a thousand times more effective.  When we move about our house and choose a chair/belief - we end up seeing the whole moment from that perspective. So, why not choose it well?  Why not know it and be able to justify it to yourself?  

Let’s assume for a minute that you know all your beliefs, know them well, and know how to speak about them.  If someone asks you what you believe in, would you be able to tell them?  Sharing your beliefs is as safe as choosing the clothes you wear.  People will have an opinion about your choice, but their opinion doesn't matter.  What matters is the honesty of your presentation.  There are enough people who will like and endorse what you chose, you don't need to chase the ones who don't. But, more important than the opinions of people you don't know yet, is the process of focusing and defining the person you are becoming.  

In college I had a chair in my room that looked out a huge window.  From that window I could see the whole valley and the many comings and goings of the people who lived there – my neighbors.  It was a strong and sturdy chair, comfortable and roomy, and placed in the perfect position.  I had many other chairs at that time; chairs in places like the dining hall, library, classroom, and the coffee shop.  But my favorite chair was placed before the window in my room where I could listen to music and ponder about my neighbors - wondering about their pains, fears, paths, and futures.  

Within your allotment of beliefs are some that serve you better, get you into better moments, and make your life wonderful.  Do you know which ones give you what?  Do you choose which ones take you into outcomes you want?  To know this you would need to compare them to each other.  And now we have a competition.

When we hold a “beliefs playoff” we compare our beliefs and choose which ones get us through to better ends.  We may choose addiction over facing truths, loneliness over trusting, eating over effort, or anger over grace.  We may choose learning over ignorance, rage over peace, compassion over hate, or country western over rap.  In fact, in every moment we are making response and action choices, and every one of them is based on the perspective we chose to have at that time, which is based on a belief. 

It is always human nature to choose the belief that makes the best campaign promise.  Is drug addiction really better than facing the truth?  No.  But it promises to be.  So, we believe it and choose that path.  And, like a career politician it stays and works us, plays us, lies to us, and fools us… for its own survival… until we choose against it.  Belief playoffs are the way we find out what truly gets us through, helping us weed out the petulant and despicable, the weak and destructive beliefs, getting rid of the ones that are more interested in perpetuating of our angst than giving us joy.

The champion belief is the one that trumps all the rest.  It proves it is the one we can always rely on.  It always serves our best outcome, and delivers us into our best possible life.  For me, the best belief I can have is – “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  It fits every circumstance I encounter, and always gets me through to the best possible outcome. 

Do you know which chair is your best chair?  Not your favorite, most comfortable, or most worn, but which one truly delivers your best life?  Be daring.  Be courageous.  Be involved.  Know yourself and choose well.  Then… engage and share who you are with someone else.  That’s how people find true community, friendship and love… and the good life that comes with it.

Be not afraid, too busy, or doubtful.  Despite any campaign of lies to the contrary, your life is worth taking a look around the house, comparing chairs, and finding the best one.  Then all you have to do is sit down and enjoy the view.