Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Can We Really Change?

Our minds are like a long line of computer code that edits itself.  Imagine a DOS system like Windows trying to edit itself to become a MAC OS like OS X.  Could it ever really do it?  So, if our minds begin adding "code of reasoning" since before birth, and each new decision adds to the legacy effect by extending and building upon the base code, how can it become a new thing and not just more of what it was?

MS DOS is what the Windows computer software is built on.  They have changed many things about it since the 80s, but down deep inside there is still some of the same code.  The core of it, the true basic nature of its processing path remains the same.  So, if our minds also have a basic code that we build upon, then how can we really change?

In the Gospel of John, Chapter 3, Nicodemus is questioning Jesus about this very thing, but doesn't get it.  He thinks that for a man to be "born again" he must shrink down (ala Benjamin Button) and re-enter the womb so he can be born from the womb again.  But, Christ was talking about the person, not the body.  The "person" is what is found in the mind's layer-upon-layer of reasoning, rationale, memories, wants, and patterns.  But, being born again does not erase our memories, does it?

In order to really change, we must have help... on the inside.  Jesus Christ sends us the Holy Spirit and It enters into our hearts, our minds, our souls and changes us from the inside, but never against our will.  In some ways, it would be like a new interior decorator coming intothe old house and sprucing things up.  The decorator would never presume, assume, or demand a change.  They politely offer ideas and over time the homeowner learns to trust the decorator more and more.

The Holy Spirit is a very peaceful, patient, and polite servant of change.  But, the Holy Spirit is able to work with the base code and make changes in it (that we authorize) so we can live life better - more joyful, peaceful, loving, forgiving, and honest.  As we allow these changes to take place we see improvements in our relationships, our sense of self, and in our appreciation for what God can do.

After a few months or years of working with and trusting the Holy Spirit within us, we can look back and see that we are truly different.  Our reasons for doing things have changed, our wants have changed, and we are creating new patterns with very different types of memories.

So, yes we can really change - but not on our own.  Thank God.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

What Do We Sell?

Teachers sell their lessons and hope the student buys.  Politicians sell their promises for a better government and hope voters buy.  Lawyers sell their side of the argument and hope the jury buys it. Parents sell their side of the argument and hope their child buys it   Businesses sell their products and services, writers sell their thoughts, painters sell their visions, and pastors sell their interpretations of truth.  Lovers sell their access and hope someone they like buys it, again and again.

The human race is in a constant state of transaction;constantly looking for the thing to buy and the people to sell it to.  But, what do we actually sell?  Do we sell the thing we found in our hearts - passion?  Do we sell the thing we found in our mind - imagination?  Do we seek buyers for the thing we value, or do we seek to sell whatever they would value?  Do we care if it is good for them, or do we just want to make the deal?  Do we sell our sense of community to gain an individual edge?  Do we place ourselves in the position of knowing what they need most and try to convince them to buy - just so we can bank their affirmation?

When we sell the part of ourselves that we can't get back, do we suffer?  Some people sell their integrity and cringe at the thought of what once was, and because of the cringe they deliberately ignore the thought.  Innocents sell their wonder to the jaded cynics and find no path for return.  The lonely sell their physical intimacy to gain a sacred moment when their secrets would have brought more.  The pompous sell their audacity and believe the world is blessed by their giving.  The evil can find no buyers so they must bully and coerce their buyers under durress.  The selfish only seek their own ends with no concern for fairness.  If we sell with no foresight, do we lose more than we thought?

At the end of the day we look at the balance of our transactions.  We look to see what was gained and what was lost.  If we value money more than relationship we will see the gain, but may miss seeing the cost.  If we value time spent instead of time gained we may end up with very little time left.

The transactions of the human race are rooted in our beliefs - beliefs about value.  If we proceed along the path of one strategy and forsake another, do we register the cost on our books?  At the end of the game, when we breathe our last we will find reflection on what was, and what will matter to us most in that final assessment will not be what we sold and gained, but what we have with us then.  God tells us to store up treasures in Heaven.  Is He trying to sell us on a better destination, or is He trying to get us to pack our bags more wisely?

In our entire existence, all of the selling and buying of human wants is the very essence of true capitalism - free trade, free markets, the unhindered exchange of each one's values at ever-changing prices.  We love to trade, but at what eternal cost?

Capitalism without lasting connection draws us toward ruin.  To gain lasting connection increases our eternal wealth - our treasures in Heaven.  Doing a good deed is not a stored gem.  Building a friendship that is kept til the end is a jeweled broach.  Listening to the weeping of the broken-hearted may give us a feeling of goodness, but if we do it for the personal gain then we have not been honest and our conditions will cost us the connection.  Life is about connection, interaction, and mutual acceptance.  The balance sheet of our interpersonal assets and liabilities will reflect the true nature of our lives- the "what" we end up with.

What do we sell?  We buy and sell our eventual connection to others with every interaction, and at the end of it all, when we are alone and looking at the hospital ceiling, will we feel enriched by what awaits us?  Will we feel wealthy in our souls?  If we haven't thought about it - it may be good to consider, because...

That's what we sell.


Saturday, August 3, 2013

Adults versus Children

Parenting is always so much fun.  And last night was no exception.  Exiting the grocery store with my teen age daughter, she had quickly gotten way ahead of me - much too far for my comfort level.  I like having her within an "obviously-with-that-guy" range so I don't even have the worry of someone thinking of her as prey.  When I caught up to her I mentioned my discomfort in a way that got my point across instantly.  She responded in typical teenage fashion which led to another discussion.

After we worked through our conflict over a simple thing like exiting a grocery store, I saw something worth teaching.  I told her, "One of the big differences between adults and children is how they respond in situations... more specifically, how they process their response options.  Children will see one option and take it; seeing it as their only option.  Adults realize there are several options and choosing the best response option gives them a better result.  You are not a little girl anymore, but you also don't look for the better options very much.  This is normal.  You are right where you are supposed to be in your development.  But it might be a good idea to start looking for ways to improve your 'best option selection process.' Adults get very good at sorting through the available options and choosing the best one.  They have a process.  Getting better at your own process will help you."

How adults process through their options differently than children was something I had never thought of before.  And being an adult over 50, that's an interesting moment for me. As I drove on toward home I prompted her for some small sign that I had been heard.  She quietly agreed.  And when she does this I don't know if I am being politely tolerated or if she is chewing on the thought.  Oh, well. Sometimes, as parents, our best option is to place the "food for thought" on the table in front of them and let them decide if they are hungry or not.