Parenting is always so much fun. And last night was no exception. Exiting the grocery store with my teen age daughter, she had quickly gotten way ahead of me - much too far for my comfort level. I like having her within an "obviously-with-that-guy" range so I don't even have the worry of someone thinking of her as prey. When I caught up to her I mentioned my discomfort in a way that got my point across instantly. She responded in typical teenage fashion which led to another discussion.
After we worked through our conflict over a simple thing like exiting a grocery store, I saw something worth teaching. I told her, "One of the big differences between adults and children is how they respond in situations... more specifically, how they process their response options. Children will see one option and take it; seeing it as their only option. Adults realize there are several options and choosing the best response option gives them a better result. You are not a little girl anymore, but you also don't look for the better options very much. This is normal. You are right where you are supposed to be in your development. But it might be a good idea to start looking for ways to improve your 'best option selection process.' Adults get very good at sorting through the available options and choosing the best one. They have a process. Getting better at your own process will help you."
How adults process through their options differently than children was something I had never thought of before. And being an adult over 50, that's an interesting moment for me. As I drove on toward home I prompted her for some small sign that I had been heard. She quietly agreed. And when she does this I don't know if I am being politely tolerated or if she is chewing on the thought. Oh, well. Sometimes, as parents, our best option is to place the "food for thought" on the table in front of them and let them decide if they are hungry or not.
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